February 2012
9 posts
2 tags
Am I a marked man?
::cell phone rings::
ME: Hello?
VOICE: Is Mr. Gulyas there?
ME: This is he.
::silence::
::silence::
ME: Hello?
::silence::
VOICE: Thank you.
::hangs up::
::no call back::
::getting the fuck out of my house::
January 2012
38 posts
So today brought an interesting turn.
Side note, can somebody tell me some good news? I wanna know it still exists somewhere for someone. Thanks.
Need Advice
Would you choose to move into the nicer/cheaper/closer to work apartment in an okay area or the more expensive/not quite as nice but still nice/further from work apartment that is in an awesome area?
“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they’re supposed to...”
– Me in my head just now
Things You Can Do When Somebody Scores 102 Points...
Sever all ties and take it to the grave.
Shit yourself.
Spike your phone on the ground in fury.
Join a Big Losers club. Start one if you can’t find one.
In an attempt to reevaluate your life, retreat into the wild. Years later, the only trace rescuers will find of you is a tattered remnant of your jeans clinging to a log and a crude carving oF “PRECURED = 102 WHY” on an oak...
I've Been Thinking A Lot About Riding In Cars...
I can’t really explain why, at least in any sort of concise way, but I often find myself feeling nostalgic specifically for times I’ve spent riding in cars. If I’m driving and a certain song, or even a certain genre of music comes on. If the sun hits the windshield a certain way. If the wind blows a particular coolness through the window. The way my fingers feel frozen around the...
Starbucks Barrista Hates the Shit Out of Me
Him: Hi, how are you today?
Me: Good, good, how are you?
Him: Tired.
Me: I hear that. Well, luckily there's plenty of caffeine around, am I right?
Him: ::stares at me in silence for 12 seconds, which doesn't sound like a lot, but sit and count to twelve and FEEL THE FULL TWELVE, that's almost a quarter of a minute where the weight of him not asking me what I'd like to drink hangs in the air and I almost just walk away without anything, just conceding that he's defeated me with his tired gaze of hate, and by the way I'm well aware my joke was fucking stupid, okay? I know that, but it was not deserving of this response, this man was cruel::
Me: Yeah, so, uh, anyway, I'll take a grande regular coffee with room and one of those chocolate chunk cookies.
Him: I'm sorry, what?
Me: (in my head) Missed all of that, huh? Didn't catch a thing. Good for you, Starbucks Barrista Guy. Good for you.
Me: (out loud) Grande regular cookie--Sorry, Grande regular COFFEE and a chocolate chunk COOKIE. Guess I'm pretty tired myself.
Him: Will that be all?
Me: (in my head) Guess I'm the fuckin' idiot here, right? I'm the big fool. Well, Starbucks Barrista Guy, you are lucky Sarah McLachlan's "Adia" just came on and is currently assuaging any hostility I hold in my heart towards you, or anyone for that matter. Good day.
Me: Yes, that's all.
December 2011
40 posts
